It's time to wrap 2023 up in a environmentally conscious package. Here are the 11 things I changed in the last 12 months.
Some things are absolutes during the holiday season. For instance, racking up an enormous electric bill with your light display when you live in the dark the rest of the year because "Money doesn't grow on trees." Then there's your search for a gym membership to burn off the 10 pounds of cookies you ate in December. You know, the one you'll cancel in February.
Another absolute is the yearly wrap-up. I've never done one of these, mostly because I didn't have anything to discuss. The last few years have been amazingly difficult due to my circumstances and thought patterns. Honestly, the latter probably affected the former.
I have much to discuss this time around because there were several changes in 2023. These have encouraged me to continue the forward process in 2024. However, that's a discussion for next week. In the meantime, here are the 11 things I changed, or tried to do, in 2023.
1. I became comfortable with myself. I've never been normal. Those of you who've known me for years understand this. My imagination overflowed when I was a kid. I made laser noises while riding up and down my street. I used my writing gifts to create R-rated stories in History class (Sorry, Mrs. H.) within 20 minutes.
I'm also neurodivergent, and that's okay. In fact, since 60 million people in the U.S. declare themselves neurodivergent, I'm in a good crowd. Medicines, therapy, and positive thought processes helped to shift into positive thoughts.
It's taken me nearly three years after my breakdown to feel comfortable in my skin. Now, I want to help other neurodivergents feel the same way.
2. I declared I'm not an imposter. I mentioned this back in March, and it still stands. Every creative goes at their own pace to achieve their goals. I can't worry about how I'm doing against other authors. For Pete's sake, I had a nervous breakdown in 2020. It took me a while to curb my emotions and get healthy.
3. I realized I can't work a real job. In an interview with Andy J. Pizza on The Great Creators with Guy Raz, the author and illustrator revealed he was always itchy when forced to work a real job. I feel the same way these days, except my itch is an ache in my lower back and tushy.
Maybe it's my entry into older adulthood or the fact I've worked some form of job since I was sixteen that causes this discomfort. I can't focus on the tasks of a full-time position. Perhaps my soul is telling me to finally incorporate my creative gifts for something different.
4. I got out of my way (sort of). I'm working on this, I swear. There are plenty of moments each day when I'll watch YouTube or play video games instead of being productive. Heck, I can think of two or three times today alone.
Presently, I spend more moments in creative endeavors than doing nothing. My biggest issue is napping. I need to cut back on my afternoon sleepy time because it takes three hours to sleep and recover. Once I’m awake enough, it’s time to go to bed.
5. I stopped panicking (kind of). Again, I’m working on this. I've done okay since learning my contract wasn't renewed. The panic emerges when the car doesn't start, or I worry about upcoming bills.
How do I fix this? I stop thinking about upcoming bills. I worry about what I can do right now instead of January 2024. Each day I'm awake and healthy-ish is good, and I count my blessings no matter the situation.
6. I began to think of abundance instead of scarcity. It’s another work in progress. Part of my brain goes back to those days when I could barely afford gas and was "this close" to being evicted. That said, my soul is louder these days and says everything will be alright.
I also believe this because of my last contract coming out of nowhere. I ended up getting a job that paid nearly double my previous position. That's my baseline now, and I'm not going back.
7. I stopped chasing money. Textbroker, WritersAccess, and other content providers -- these were my bread and butter for years. Why search for a job that paid $1000 to write a 1,000-word article when I could poorly produce something for $10 and get paid in the same week? Yeah, I was chasing every penny instead of reaching for the gold ring of the lost ark in the chamber of secrets near the Batcave.
Those platforms are no longer part of my environment. Neither are jobs paying pennies for several thousand words, backlinks, and scholarly research. I'm better than all of those clients, and so are you.
8. I started writing creatively again. My creative writing has been sporadic over the last decade. The momentum I had between 2013 and 2016 fizzled out when I divorced. It's like a reinforced steel door crashed between my body and soul. That lifted this year, probably because I told my brain I'm not an imposter.
9. I've kept this blog going for 10 months. In the past, I gave up on blog production around the two-month mark. This time, my determination to produce regular material made it a priority regardless of how I felt. It's been a weekly event since August, and I'm damn proud of it.
10. I stopped being a selfish writer. I'm not proud of the way I acted in the Bad Times (before the bipolar diagnosis). Let me throw several phrases out to describe who I was -- narcissistic, falsely prideful, conceited, believed my poop was rose-scented. Now that my head is clear I comprehend that I didn't like myself. Thus, the veneer went up.
As a creative, I'm part of an enormous community. I won't horde the spotlight anymore. Yes, promoting myself is key once 2024 comes around (more next week). Still, I'll make sure others in this supportive universe also get praise in social media and social media, among others.
11. I started to stretch. Imposter syndrome kept me away from expanding my creative capabilities. Getting past it helped me open my creative soul. Not a dive into the deep end of the pool, mind you. I'd call it waist-deep to warm up before I plunged my body into the cold waters.
Keeping this blog going was one outreach, as was my time doing NaNoWriMo, even though I didn't "win." I sent out several poems, with one selected for a local show. I joined Writing Heights Writers Association and partook in discussions and book events.
The most significant stretch was applying for the Colorado Division of Vocational Rehabilitation (DVR) grant, which provided me with a professional work setup and will help pay for the processes needed to publish my memoir on bipolar disorder.
What Did We Learn Today, Rich?
2023 became the year I settled into myself, which I didn't think I would ever do. Is it the end-all, be-all for me? Absolutely not. There's more growing in 2024, whether by need or desire. Tune in next week, same Write Decisions time, same Write Decisions channel to learn what's happening. Taking a page from Joanna Penn, some pivoting is happening.
Have a happy holiday weekend.
Yours always,
Rich Scott Keller
Email: wpantscreations@gmail.com
ClearVoice Portfolio: https://clearvoice.com/cv/RichardKeller
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rskellerwpp/
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