A few moments of no internet caused me to think of simpler days.
Life was simpler during the era known as Back in the Day. Our parents and grandparents were resourceful during unusual circumstances.
Electricity out? They burned candles (safely) or cranked up the generator.
Cable out? They grabbed the black-and-white TV from the attic and spent minutes adjusting the antenna so we could watch Tattletales.
No heat? They wrapped themselves in blankets and created a fire made of zombie parts.
In other words, life moved forward as others worked on the problem. For instance, during the New York City blackout of 1965, WABC DJ Dan Ingram grabbed a handful of records and drove to the station's transmitter in Lodi, NJ. Realizing it didn't have a record player, he did a call-in talk show until four in the morning. After a few hours of sleep, he went to the station for his normal afternoon shift.
Generation S (as in Soft)
Unfortunately, we're not as hardy as our recent ancestors. Technology has made us soft as butter. Forget Generation X, Z, or AA. We're Generation S, as in Soft.
Minor issues with our technology throw us into tailspins. We run outside to verify we aren't living in a scene from The Day After. When something happens to our computers, phones, or internet connections, we're "this close" to shedding out clothes for a fur loincloth and wooden club.
Do you need proof? Well, I got your proof right here. No, I'm not pointing at my nether regions. I have a box in front of me labeled Proof.
The Internet is Down! Oh, the Humanity!
Twenty-four hours before I wrote this post, we had an internet outage. Using my decades of information technology experience, I rebooted the modem by sticking a pen tip into the tiny hole in the rear of the box. Twice. Yes, that’s how experienced I am.
While the other buttons flashed, the Online one stayed dark. So, I decided to contact the cable company. However, I couldn't reach them. Either my phone service was horrible, or everyone in sheer terror tried contacting the cable company.
Did I remain calm and patient in this situation? Hell, no. I was ready to fashion a spear with a dinosaur bone tip to start hunting for food.
My mind raced. Should I go to the library to work? Will the internet be active at the library? Is the outage part of a larger cyberattack? If so, how will I watch intros to the 27 new fall TV shows of 1975? Did I need to -- gasp -- go outside for fresh air and sunlight? Preposterous!
Service returned twenty minutes later. Twenty. Minutes. Yet, it felt like a lifetime without direct access to the world or Taylor Swift news. Once I got online, my heart rate slowed, my mind stopped racing, and I learned TS had written another three albums about jilted lovers.
All was right in the world.
What Did We Learn Today, Rich?
We are doomed as a society. If we're so reliant on technology that we assume fetal positions when it's down, how will we react when it's knocked out for more than 20 minutes? What if Elon buys the internet, renames it InternetX, and starts charging for searches unrelated to him or his enormous ego, which has a house of its own? We're going to devolve back to the Dark Ages.
This means speaking to people, visiting libraries to research, and writing your own material. It's prehistoric, I tell you. Most likely, Fred Flintstone will become our benevolent overlord.
Yabba. Dabba. Do.
All the best.
Rich Scott Keller
Email: wpantscreations@gmail.com
ClearVoice Portfolio: https://clearvoice.com/cv/RichardKeller
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rskellerwpp/
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