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Mar 13 min read

Three Ways Zombies and Writers Are Similar

Yes, zombies and writers have similar traits.


Title Card featuring Dining With Zombies cover

A book birth announcement! Well, more of a rebirth. Okay, a rebirth with a new format and cover. So, technically, it's a book birth announcement.


Oy!


In 2014, during a manic period of creativity, I launched several books, including the original Dining With Zombies short-story anthology. Then, in 2015, during a depressive period where I thought I sucked, I took it back down. It remained in limbo until this year (2024, for the archivists reviewing this material after the Lettuce Apocalypse).


The updated version of Dining With Zombies features additional stories, a horrifically lovely cover, and magic beans. The official release date is March 5, 2024 (again, for the archivists).


Our Zombie Brethren

While putting together Dining With Zombies (I’m mentioning the title at least every two words) I realized writers and zombies aren't much different when it comes to our daily activities. In fact, if we could sit an animated corpse down for some tea and raw flesh, we'd find a great deal in common. Three such examples are below.


We Like Brains

Illustration of a brain

Writers want a hearty hippocampus, a feisty frontal lobe, and an o-something occipital lobe. We need our brains to be ready to take the snap once our creative souls call the play. By doing so, the defensive line of doubters fades, allowing us to reach our story's end zone with minimal distraction.


I'll give writers unfamiliar with football a chance to Google what I meant.


Zombies need to devour minds (and body parts) to provide enough nutrients to maintain their frontal lobes. In doing so, they can shuffle about the land to seek plump humans. Without it, they lay there shrieking, “I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up … because my legs fell off.”


This sounds like some writers. Minus the sudden departure of their lower limbs. Then again, after sitting in a chair for 12 straight hours, it would be amazing if any of them didn't have numb legs.


We Have Similar Characterizations

Zombie Parade by Geri Cleveland
Zombies, or writers taking a break?

Have you ever seen a writer coming off a 48-hour creative binge? They're disheveled, pale, and smell like sweat, wine, and cheese. They get up from their chairs and shuffle to the kitchen for coffee. If someone speaks or comes near, they growl and make threatening motions to scare them away. 


How is this different than your run-of-the-mill zombie? Then again, after living on cheese spray and Red Bull for hours, your forearm might look good to them. So, make sure your family and friends wear long-sleeved garments for at least 24 hours after you type The End. 


We Have Our Communities

Writers are loners. We spend countless hours at our desks. Even when we venture out to a coffee shop or library, we put on our noise-canceling headphones to shut out the world.


Yet, we love to gather with other writers to share coffee, wine, and ideas. It's why we have so many writing conferences across the globe. Thirsty for knowledge, we join these communities to absorb all we can to plow through our next stories.


Zombies form communities as well. Granted, they do it to overwhelm humans so they can chow down on their succulent brains. Still, they know a gang is stronger than a single animated corpse walking toward a group armed with shotguns.


What Did We Learn Today, Rich?

While we might not invite them to the next critique group, writers and zombies have a bond. Now, if we could only get them to tell us how they became infected. Boy, what a story we would have!


Yours always,

Rich Scott Keller




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