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Feb 153 min read

Writer's Block Is Bull Feces

Why the concept of a writer's block is a bunch of fecal matter and how you can prevent it.


Quote about writer's block

There's no such thing as writer's block. Now, let's move to the next subject: Publisher's Clearing House is a front for the Illuminati.


Oh, sorry. According to the shadow government, I need to provide details on why writer's block isn't real. To ensure the safety of everyone who reads this, let's delve into this subject.


Writer's block is male bovine feces. It may seem like you're stuck for an idea that starts/continues/ends your story, but that's not true. In truth, it's a battle between your brain and your creative soul.


How an Idea is Born

Concepts don't start in that jello-like substance your skull protects. They're conceived in your soul and then communicated to your brain. From here, the hippocampus and amygdala go to work refining the ideas. Once completed, messages are sent to your left superior parietal lobule, the left supramarginal gyrus, and the left premotor cortex to write or type out the ideas.


Unfortunately, messages delivered by your creative soul fail when your brain is filled with, to use the scientific term, crap. For instance, concerns about money, family, dinner, and the latest Bachelor or Bachelorette. On top of these are anxieties about writer's block, imposter syndrome, and your ability to be a creative.


These metastasize like cancerous tumors, spreading throughout your brain. Their expansion creates a creative fog. Soon enough, you're staring at a blinking cursor without the urge to type a word.


Here's a better analogy: writer's block is the equivalent of hypochondria. Though you don't have any symptoms, you feel like something eliminated your creative flow. When one of those symptoms seems to disappear, you know another is around the corner. So, you don't create.


Here's an even better analogy: writer's block is an excuse for laziness and whining.


The Cure (Not to be confused with Robert Smith's band)

Calvin and Hobbes talk about writer's block
Copyright Universal Press Syndicate

There's a cure to writer's block -- don't believe it. It's like the monster under your bed. For years, you thought a creature lurked under your bedframe once the lights went out. You knew it would devour you once you let your guard down. Once you turned 50, you realized that the monster didn't exist. Most likely, it was suffocated by dust bunnies.


You must do the same for writer's block. Deprive the concept of oxygen. Instead, put your fingers on the keyboard or pen and write something.


Granted, it might not be related to your story. It could be a different genre altogether or something so abstract that Salvador Dali would find it too weird. Yet, as you continue writing you'll see something emerge that's the right fit for your original tale. Plus, you may have enough material to work on a new story when the current piece is done.


If that doesn't work, then relax. The stress of deadlines, real or self-imposed, makes your monkey brain go nuts. Take a walk, meditate, or write an angry post about Taylor Swift haters. Generally, find ways to redirect the constant internal blabber. This should quiet things down enough to hear your creative soul.


What Did We Learn Today, Rich?

Don't let your brain give up when it comes to writing. A mind that continually runs a hamster full of caffeine on its wheel blocks you from embracing your creative mojo. If the advice above doesn't work, then ask your brain to calculate the percentage of Publisher's Clearing House winners who are now mind-wiped assassins for the Illuminati. That should keep it quiet for a bit.


Yours always,

Rich Scott Keller


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